this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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