And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
