This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
