the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
