why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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