I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
