This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
