I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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