Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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