..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
