i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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