So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
