He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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