I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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