I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
