remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
