I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
