wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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