Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
