she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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