just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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