it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
