I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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