There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
