I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
