Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
