first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
