I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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