I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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