Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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