we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
