Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
