Where did you get a picture of my penis
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
