I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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