I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
