By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
