We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
