Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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