Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
