Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
