if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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