Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize