The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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