and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
