Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
