those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
