I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
vagina is talking i cant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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