I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
