she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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