normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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