Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish I only lived at night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
