I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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