saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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