Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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