OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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