I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
