We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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