can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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