my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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