I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
