If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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